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(just now)
"hey there" -- sorry --- two words instead of a one -- -
(just now) Can you tell me what is in my profile that makes you hit a "Hi" at me?
PLEASE RESPOND KINDLY -- I question why a sudden activity has been given to me under what we would consider MISMATCHING profiles --- what I would like you to do is find some text on my profile to QUOTE and then take that text an EXPAND ON that interest --- thank you.
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(just now) hi ---
What is there? Am I on a list? - which only people who are reaching out to me here on a4a to bug annoy or waste my time? Partake in what is called "Perversion of Time" ??
Undateable: Some Reflections on Online Dating and the Perversion of Time
Lucas Hilderbrand / University of California, Irvine
[ excerpts ]:
Future
The marketed temporality of online dating is futurity: that, if a user logs in, they will find a partner. The allure of online dating is the belief in a structure of possibility: in this utopia (virtual non-place), you will find the perfect match. Using interfaces of self-representation and algorithms of compatibility, various sites suggest that there is, at least in theory, someone for everyone and that the most efficient way to meet is via database calculations. More than once, I’ve been advised that the only way to meet people is to go online. This mythical structure of possibility suggests that, if you keep searching, you will find someone, but also that there might always be a better match in the future. There’s an illusion of unlimited options and a continued hope that new and better matches will come online. Thus, there’s also a recurrent temptation for deferral.
Finally, I’ll finish with a few words on the globalization of dating habits for gay men: TV shows and films are not the only transnational flow of media displaying/offering new ways of dating. Grindr works worldwide, and for the one who finds himself at the border between Spain and France, gay men from both countries log on the app at any hour. Habits that are to be found on OK Cupid/Grindr in the US do carry over in Europe, so that there is a worldwide leveling of dating etiquette: ignore if you’re not interested, ask for more pictures if you are, and ask “what are you into?” right away to waste as little time as possible. If it’s a match, enjoy your sexual “gaytertainment”, and if not, you simply have to say “Next.” ;-)
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